WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE WORLD YOU GREW UP IN!

WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE WORLD YOU GREW UP IN!

Often we expect our kiddos to meet expectations that we set for them based on our own childhood experiences. In doing so we set them up for failure. Why do I say this?

Well because that world that we all grew up in DOES NOT exist any more. That world where we used to go outside and play across neighborhoods, until nightfall, the one where technology was only for those who could afford it, or were lucky enough to to find it, the one where there were neighborhood parties/get togethers and everyone would care for everyone. That world is no longer available. 

We are now in a world where technology is in almost every home and in multiple aspects, where it is no longer safe to play outside until nightfall due to shootings, kidnaps, and child trafficking, and where life skills are no longer taught in school. Yes, life skills used to be taught in school!

So if that is the world we now live in, why are we expecting our children to live like we did and do what we did? 

The truth? Because we are jealous of the lives our children are living. They have access to things we did not have, they are able to do things we weren’t, they are living lives we couldn’t have unless our parents were in the high working class. And I don’t know about you, but that was not the case for me. We are also so uncomfortable knowing that that world that (overall) brought us such great memories is GONE. 

BUT it’s okay to be jealous and uncomfortable and even sad. What is NOT okay is to take those feelings out on our kids by setting them up for failure due to expecting things they will never live up to, due to the world they live in. Take time to think about what you’re feeling, how to get through those feelings, and enjoy making new memories in this new world with your child(ren).

Day Espinal, LMHC, trauma specialist who also works with all types of mental health concerns from childhood to adulthood.